Dating after marriage ends

At first glance, this seems so strange. When you are in a long term relationship you think that the dating world has ended for you, and thank God for that.

Dating can be stressful and difficult to get into. Especially if you are a woman and you are past 30.

Have things changed that much since the last time I was here? Do men really think it is expectable to touch you on the first date? Should I call him or should I wait for him to call me?

These are all things that go through your head when first you meet.

It is very different, than when you were younger. You are more conscious of what is and what is not desirable to you in a mate.

When in your 20’s it was all about chemistry. You weren’t necessarily thinking long term. Whatever felt right at the time was great, and go for it.
In your 30’s it was all about Mr Right. Who could you find to have children with [that is if you hadn’t already had them in your 20’s] and who would be your soul mate to share your life with.

When you divorce in your 50’s dating becomes a whole other thing.

It is now about trusting that the other person is who they say they are.

 And while chemistry is great, it isn’t all important. What the person’s life says about them, how they have treated their past relationships[because you tend to see a pattern in past relationships, I know I have one] where they want to be in the future. Because lets face it, your future is limited by time. As a woman, we don’t want to be doing this again in another 20 years.
So trust is essential.

Most women wont believe this, but there is a large population of men out there who want to date a woman older then them.
I am not really sure what I think about this. It is surely flattering, but is it real?

And then there is the financial aspect to all of this. You don’t want to date someone who is still trying to find their pot of gold.

In the past, I was willing to work with my ex’s toward a future together, and by that I mean financially. But having been bitten more than once by that dog, I find I don’t want to pet them anymore.
So that means that who I choose to develop a relationship with has to be self sufficient.

And then you want someone you can admire. Someone who is interesting, well spoken, has a zest for life. And looks really seem unimportant now.
Don’t get me wrong, a handsome face and a nice butt are great. But is that all there is to life?
Been down THAT road, and I assure you, it is not.

I was told by my soon to be ex-husband, that I was not able to change, had a negative outlook and something else that I cant remember that was said to demean.
I think that I have proven that to be false.

So here I am. Moving forward, with lots of opportunities. And a positive outlook on the future, and not afraid to put myself out there in this crazy dating world.
But THIS time I intend to be smarter, and more aware of whom I am trusting with my heart.

Waiting for the Rain

Southern California is an interesting place. Some days you wake up and it looks like it’s going to rain, it feel’s like it’s going to rain. There is a chill and a breeze in the air….but no rain.

Whatup with that? 

We could use some rain here. Dry hills, dry people. The plants and trees here look like it rains all the time.

Everywhere there are beautiful, colorful flowers and huge trees. But no rain. it all comes from waste water. 

My friend says she wants rain because she feels like it washes away the sins of the world.

Another person said they want rain so they don’t have to pay for a car wash.

I like the first analogy.

Up north of here, it DOES rain all the time. They say Carmel has moss growing on the roofs…cant wait to see if THATS true.  

Rain makes me think of my dad. He loved thunderstorms, as I do too.

The day of his funeral there was a HUGE thunderstorm. Thanks Dad!

People here don’t realize what a gift rain is. In other parts of the world rain brings on a celebration.

In the Hindu tradition, rain on your wedding day brings good luck.

In Southwest Nigeria Lightening is used as an instrument of warfare.

In Japan, some rain dance rituals occur in the early spring, but the REAL rain dance takes place at the end of summer, for the harvest and when the farmers are desperate.

The Salel of Tunisia is part of the arid zone that extends from Morocco to Afghanistan. The people of this region profess the religion of Islam. theirs views link divine power, human actions and rain are based on the Qur>an and are expressed in rain prayers. Opinion is widely held that a drought is caused by the injustice and ingratitude to GOD, and that if people repent of their sins GOD would send them rain.




In the SUKKOT, or harvest of the moon festival in autumn is also known as the Festival of Rain.

Although nowadays we often view rain as an interruption or an inconvenience, those that live off the earth embrace rain as life. Rain nurtures and sustains us. In Israel, where rain is unpredictable and only comes during the winter season, Sukkot became one of the most important holidays of the year, because that is where the Jewish people asked for rain to fall. For our students starting a new year, this new beginning seems as unpredictable as the rain, and there is an unconscious collective desire to be blessed with the same security that rain brings.

In its primal form, Sukkot was done with great joy and impressive pageantry. "In Temple times, the week-long celebration of Sukkot was one of the year's two major pilgrimage events (the other being Passover). Jews came from all over the world to bring their tithes to the Temple, and to join in the celebrations. There were many special events. Every morning, after the burning of the regular sacrifices, there was a water-pouring ceremony. An imposing procession brought water carried in golden vessels up to the Temple Mount where it was poured, along with wine, on the altar! Silver horns were blown, and flutes were played. The day was filled with the impressive presentation of the gift-offerings brought by pilgrims. After dark came the fire ceremonies. Torches were juggled, giant menorot were set ablaze, and even the priests' old garments were burned in bonfires. Sukkot scored a ten in spectacle.”

 In China, they have the Water Dragons. To bring rain, the dragons would fly up into the clouds. Storms are battling dragons. Droughts sleepy ones. Floods wrathful dragons.
The Dragon Dance preformed at Chinese New Year ceremonies now was originally a ritual done for rain making.


In India, the buddhist tradition is that Kingship and rainfall were linked. The king invoked rain when needed.


And in England the rainmaking rites at Gellion Well in West Glamorgan, the people danced on the green, throwing flowers and herbs, singing old ballads, playing “kiss the ring". Then the group leader would go to the well and cry out 3 times “bring us rain” Looks like it worked!


And of course here in the US the Hopi Indians are famous for their rain dancing.


It is fascinating how the world views rain and water.  


Just remember that on your next rainy day and you want to complain about it.

Truth, Justice and the American Way

I am a proud American.
I grew being told that this country was blessed by God and was founded on principals that were undeniably right and just. And that  others want to come here because we are somehow “special”. After all, my own grandparents came here from Ireland to escape the hardship and injustice that was perpetrated on the Irish people for centuries because of their religion.

But recently I have come to realize that something has shifted.
That there is a bad wind blowing here that we may not be able to over come. There is a blood lust that the media, and so called talking heads have convinced the public to accept, and really to rely on. That what they say is Gospel, and that no other thought is truth.

The media is full of 24 hours of stories that don’t make people feel proud to be human. Of war, and murder and child abuse. Of politicians who lie and cheat, and have no respect for the law or the people who voted them in, much less their wives. Of the Mel Gibson’s [who made a name for himself as a wholesome family man] who leave their families to have sex openly with those who obviously are using them to gain their own fame. Or the Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashians who can only gain fame by making a sex tape public, then go on to make millions as they are arrested multiple times for drunk driving, assault and other unsavory things that women should be ashamed to admit.

We cant let our children play out of our sights because we are afraid they may be kidnaped by some sicko that will hurt them in an unthinkable way.

We have phenomena of the “high profile murder trials”.

 O.J., Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, Anna Nichole Smith, Michael Jackson and now Casey Anthony.

The 24 hour reports of how these people murdered their loved ones, has made quite a few lawyers rich and famous by their expertise.

And after years of the lawyers paid by news outlets to give their opinion on the grisly evidence, and wild speculation  which the general public hangs on every word, the AMERICAN justice system, which consists of a jury of their peers, gives their verdict.
If that verdict goes against what the talking heads have proclaimed, the public is outraged.
The blood lust is not satisfied. We want these people DEAD! No matter that they got a trial.
No matter that the very justice system that this country proclaims to the rest of the world as the VERY BEST, we don’t like it. The jury was lazy, wicked, wrong, stupid.

This country is better than that. Isn’t it?

When Americans see the trial of Amanda Knox in Italy, they are outraged that she didn’t get a fair trial.
But the world KNOWS that Casey Anthony is guilty.

Someone on TV says that country has WMD’s, and we have to take them out. Ok, let’s rally around the flag and go bomb them for their own good.

WTF?

We are obsessed with those who we make into celebrity’s who we are sure are guilty of any number of offenses, and we want to see them brought down. Even to death.

But what about the people in this world who genuinely need our compassion and help.
Those that are subject to the evilness of war and everything that comes with that?
What about the people who put themselves on the line to try to make things right for those with no hope?

That is not news.

 No one cares. Certainly not  Nancy Grace, or Greta Van Sustren or any one of those other talking heads who live for the next O.J.

We are living in a time that is very precarious. Where earthquakes, and tsunamis and hurricanes can destroy whole nations. Where war and famine and evil governments take away that which makes us human. But we care more about what the media tells us is important then what our hearts should be telling us.

We need to refocus on what is important, instead of sitting in front of that stupid box, watching some sick people get the death penalty, and then cheering it on


Come on America, wake up. The rest of the world is waiting