How did I get here

As a friend said to me “It wasn’t easy.”

 It started a couple of years ago, when my best friend, partner and husband and I put together a salon business, so we would have some retirement in the near future.
Our deal with each other was that I would build the biz, and he would take care of the bill’s at home.
So I gambled and put up everything, home, land, credit, to make this happen. Since everything was in my name this was a huge thing for me. But I trusted that we would work together and make this a success.

Unfortunately, right after I opened I contracted swine flu and spent a month in bed recovering.
Then the economy went into a nose dive. Despite that the business was slowly building a name.
My husband lost his job, and decided to travel south to find work. He told me he would be gone for 2 weeks.

 He never came back.

I was holding things together as best as I could, and supported what he wanted to do, which was to work on boats. He did find some work, but when I needed money to pay bill’s he declined to support me.

That is when I knew that he had not left for work. But left his/our life together. That and the fact that he stopped talking to me. We emailed back and forth, but for 2 people who talked to each other 10 times a day on the phone, this was a huge sign that he had moved on.

He later told me that he didn’t have it in him to support a wife.[never mind that in 17 years I supported every business he wanted to start, and worked my ass off to make sure that things were payed and we could travel extensively].

I spent a year and a half in bed [other than working] trying to come to terms with the destruction of my world. Trying to pay all the debt that I was now saddled with. With no explanation as to why, as he didn’t have the ball’s to tell me.

Interesting how you can spend close to 20 years with someone and not really know them.

2 years after he left, I got sick again. Only this time I almost died. I spent a month in bed and could not eat ANYTHING. I could barely drink water. After going to hospital, as I was dehydrated and lost 20 lbs it was finally determined that I had something called c-def. This is something that usually will kill you, but I survived.

 It was then that I realized that God had another plan for me.

When I went back to work it became really clear that I could no longer hold all of those ball’s up in the air.
I lost my business and home and everything that I worked 20 years for.

So I pulled myself together and sold everything I could, and took what little savings that I had, including my 401k and moved.

As it turns out, my son’s father came to my rescue. He showed up with a truck and our son and moved what I had left into him basement. And offered me sanctuary in his home for how ever long I needed it.
His girlfriend welcomed me with open arms. Who does that? Only your true friends and family.

I decided to start over in an all new place. So I put everything I could carry in my car with my dog, Dylan, and started on the journey of my life.

 My new life.

And the rest is this blog history.

Now, here I am in California living a life that is stress free.
Working on creating a great future.
As a hairdresser I have never had trouble with finding a job, and have many offers to choose from.

And my former husband? He is living in the the same house he grew up in, in a small midwest town with his 80+ yr old father and his new girlfriend. How’s that working for you?

I believe that things happen for a reason. And now to look back on all of that I realize it had to happen for me to move into this new life that I love. And to become wiser about who to trust.

So many people who have read this blog, or who I have met have said they think me to be very brave.
To walk away from everything and drive alone across the country to start over.
I don’t see myself that way.
I see it as survival.

And that with a faith that God had a special place for me if I would just let go.